Prompt: Create a list of 10 stupid new year's resolutions

1. Eat more chocolate-covered vegetables to trick myself into thinking I'm being healthy.

2. Master the art of speaking fluent gibberish to impress absolutely no one.

3. Develop a talent for finding missing socks in the laundry but never actually doing anything about it.

4. Become a professional procrastinator and aim for the world record in delaying tasks.

5. Start a collection of empty ice cream containers to proudly display my commitment to dessert consumption.

6. Achieve the perfect bedhead hairstyle every day by refusing to comb my hair.

7. Learn to speak fluent cat and have deep philosophical discussions with neighborhood felines.

8. Perfect the art of parallel parking by practicing only in the vast, empty spaces of my imagination.

9. Set a goal to break at least one shoelace every month as a form of rebellion against footwear norms.

10. Become a connoisseur of air guitar performances, critiquing imaginary rock concerts with unwarranted seriousness.

11. Start a club for people who are really good at remembering pointless trivia but never use it for anything practical.

12. Develop the ability to communicate exclusively through interpretive dance, especially during important business meetings.

13. Train my pet rock to perform elaborate tricks and impress guests with its amazing "sit" and "stay" skills.

14. Set a goal to break the record for the world's longest staring contest with a goldfish.

15. Master the ancient art of invisible origami, creating intricate paper sculptures that no one can see.

16. Create a scrapbook dedicated solely to the various shapes of clouds I encounter throughout the year.

17. Develop a signature scent by blending random perfumes, lotions, and household cleaners.

18. Start a daily vlog documenting the thrilling adventures of my sock puppet alter ego.

19. Perfect the skill of speaking in movie quotes exclusively, regardless of the relevance to the conversation.

20. Commit to becoming a professional napkin-folding artist, showcasing my talents at every dinner party and fast-food joint.